More from Nueva Rosita

Hola Familia!!

Alright, I tried to allow more time to update this week. I am doing better!! Its still pretty dang hard, but I am beginning to feel a little more comfortable and am just pretty much accepting I won{t understand anyone for a while. Not much has changed in the way of whats actually happened this week, but the Lord is truly blessing me with comfort through the words of his prophets and apostles. I have taken quite the liking to reading general conference talks and I will share some insight with ya{ll on what has been helping me later in this email.

First, Mexico. So I sent a hand written letter home (and if my parents feel like typing it up yall can read it on my blog), but its pretty much Mexico. Nueva Rosita is really hot and seriously I am sweating ALL THE TIME. Its pretty disgusting actually, but I am so used to being hot now that I usually don{t notice. We eat a huge meal at lunch (2pm) and basically only have a snack in the evening.. but I love to eat so my companions probably think I{m just a fattie.

My companions are good. It{s hard to compare them to anyone else because I{ve only had an MTC companion, but they generally are pretty helpful. They speak really fast to each other and thats kind of discouraging, but I just try to use that time to memorize vocabulary. Hermana Machuca does actually speak some english, and I{ve sadly been using that as a cruch a lot, but I{m trying to break it. I have a new language study plan that I{m hoping will help me pick things up faster and I{m trying to be diligent with it although its really hard to constantly study.. but its harder to live your life not being able to communicate. I{ve gotten so used to not knowing exactly what people are saying that I think I{ve tricked myself into thinking I know what they{re saying. Sometimes I think I{m improving because I actually have a conversation with someone, and then I go and try to talk to someone else and realize I don{t know anything. The language really varies from person to person.. and a lot of the time my ability varies from day to day or hour to hour. 

Here{s the thing though, right now I am just being humbled. The Lord has blessed me with confidence and leadership skills to which I was very comfortable and used to, because of course, it was me. I{ve gone through trials and times of discomfort, but I{ve never had something that has truly HUMBLED me to the point where I feel like I{m being broken down to be built up. At least not in this way. I was reading a talk by Elder Edward Dube titled "Look Ahead and Believe" from General Conference last October and a few things just hit me. A quote my Elder Jeffery R. Holland 

"The past is to be learned from but not lived in. We look back to claim the embers from glowing experiences but not the ashes. And when we have learned what we need to learn and have brought with us the best that we have experienced, then we look ahead and remember that faith is always pointed toward the future." and then in D&C 58:2-3 "Ye cannot behold with your natural eyes, for the present time, the design of your God concerning those things which shall come hereafter, and the glory which shall follow after much tribulation." Both of these things taught me about patience and keeping that eternal perspective. It{s a day by day kind of thing and it really is hard sometimes, but keep faith and rely on the Lord. I was thinking about humility and how I am being humbled, being taken away from the comfort of my leadership skills and confidence, to a place where I have to rely on my companion and on the Lord 100% of the time (even sometimes to just keeping walking through the sun to the next house when person after person isn{t home and we walk for miles). I was thinking about this when I read another talk "Be Meek and Lowly of Heart" by Elder Ulisses Soares. 

"Christ asks us to 'take up our cross daily', meaning that it must be a constant focus and desire"... "Upon acknowledging our dedication and perseverance, the Lord will give us that which we are not able to attain due to our imperfections and human weaknesses". 

This really hit me hard because I know my Father in Heaven has so much in store for me. I know he has blessed me with so much in this life, and that{s why I want to serve. I also thought that the skills I have (in English) would make me a fabulous missionary, and here I am so discouraged because I can{t use those skills... the missionary I want to be is so close, yet so far, but now I have to do it in a language I don{t know. I was discouraged by that, and sometimes still am, but every time something happens where I would have liked to take the driver{s seat or would normally have said\done something if I had the ability, I take a deep breath instead and remember that right now is a time for me to be humbled. It{s hard because I want to be all I can be and feel like I am letting myself, others, and the Lord down and I constantly pray to the Lord asking for forgivness of my weaknesses because there are far more than I had previously realized, but I remind myself that he KNOWS this about me. He also knows I have high expecations for myself and that this is difficult and uncomfortable for me, but that is why he makes up for the rest. So right now, I am focusing on being okay with being humbled. And honestly, it is making all the difference. 

This week was better because of this. I actually enjoyed a lot of things, and we found some people who have real potential at being baptized. That is beyond exciting!!! 

 

Just so yall kind of know what I do everyday

6:30 on the dot-- out of bed

Exercise until 7 and then ready by 8 (Dad thank you again for the music!! I am easily influenced by music and it helps me every single day)

Study for 4 hours (personal, companion, training, language) 

Then we start appointments at 12, eat with a member at 2, and then have appointments or contact or whatever for the rest of the day. Sometimes we walk ALOT becuase our area is large, and its hot, and people aren{t always home in the afternoon, so thats usually the hardest part of the day. The evening cools down a little and we have more luck with teaching people. Then we are home at 9 and plan and go to bed. Lots of dogs everywhere, and I usually have 1 or 2 accompanying me in the morning as I run. Again, I wrote more details in my hand written letter.. I hope it gets there alright.

Mom, I flew to Saltillo, stayed the night at one of the apartments of some sister missionaries in Saltillo, and then the next day was assigned to Rostia and took a bus for about 3 hours. 

Hahah some fun facts... 1) I have given my testimony in church 2 weeks in a row now. 2) the beautiful people here cannot sing to save their lives.. and yet everyone still sings. Its as if it doesn{t occur to them everyone is in a different key and\or they change keys a time or two during the hymn. 3) I played the piano in sacrament this past Sunday. 

The members are really nice. Now that I{m getting more comfortable, I feel a little more like myself again and interact with them more even though I can{t speak much. They{re pretty patient with it and I just smile instead! :)

Oh, lastly, my birthday is on the 26th.. just FYI everyone haha. Mom, I will email my mission president and see if there is any way he can{t get that package to me before my birthday. It is sent to the mission office in Saltillo, and we get mail or letters during zone conferences. We just had one though. 

Another thing, my mission president said my spanish is actually better than most missionaries when they get here.. so thats kind of encouraging! Haha 

Love you all!!!!

Hermana Roberts